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Five Beginning-of-School Messages Families Want to Hear from Their Child’s Teacher

There may have been a time when parents, family members, and other caregivers deferred to their child’s teacher and trusted that said teacher would do what was necessary to support their child’s learning. Families may have sent their child to school without a specific expectation to hear from the teacher unless there was a problem. However, if they existed, those days are long gone.

Parents and caregivers today expect to be informed. They want to know who we are, how we will support their child, and what we will do to ensure their success. They also seek assurance that we value them and want their involvement. Of course, they also want to hear that we are committed to and enthusiastic about our work.

With this context in mind, taking a proactive approach to communicating with parents is a wise decision. As we approach the beginning of the new year, it would be wise for us to develop and share with parents the information and reassurance they seek while also setting the stage for a strong, positive relationship.

Obviously, we need to share information on beginning-of-school logistics, including schedules, necessary supplies, and other need-to-know information. In addition, we might share with parents several key messages to introduce ourselves and reassure them of our commitment to their child’s success and our readiness to partner with them. Here are five key parent and caregiver messages to consider, modify, and share before the year begins.

I am looking forward to getting to know your child and building a relationship with them. You might discuss the early and ongoing activities you have planned to help their child feel welcome and develop a sense of belonging. Share your anticipation of the opportunity to learn the child’s unique personality, strengths, and interests. Invite parents to share any concerns, advice, and hopes that they believe would be helpful to your getting to know their child and forming a relationship. The invitation might be general and informal, and it may be followed by a survey or, if practical, a conversation with the child’s parents or caregivers.

I look forward to developing a productive partnership with you on your child’s behalf. Note that a crucial component of learning and social success is a sense of shared commitment and expectations among the adults in a child’s life. A strong partnership featuring frequent and timely communication and coordination of effort can make an enormous difference for students, especially when they struggle or lose focus. Provide parents with specific options and opportunities to connect with you. Share examples of when parents can expect to hear from you and what they can do if they have questions, concerns, or need to connect. This also is a good time to highlight school events, opportunities to volunteer, and other avenues for parents to participate as partners in their child’s school life.

I am committed to your child’s success. Be explicit in your commitment to make each day an important experience and step in the child’s learning journey. Emphasize the importance of regular reinforcement of past learning, building learning through the introduction of new concepts and skills, and the crucial role of practice to strengthen and lengthen retention of what is learned. Underscore the importance of the child’s regular attendance to sustain strong relationships with classmates, maintain learning momentum, and build continuity and rhythm in the school experience.

I want to help your child grow intellectually, develop socially, and gain strength of character. Remind them that while formal education is about building academic knowledge and skills, a strong, well-rounded education also helps students to develop and manage relationships with others. Further, for students to make the best use of what they learn, they need to grow their character. Honesty, compassion, fairness, responsibility, and other character elements help students become more than informed and knowledgeable; they become better people.

I am excited and energized to begin a new learning journey with your child. You cannot know all that lies ahead in the coming months. There will be hours of exhilaration, days of disappointment, and weeks of amazing progress. Yet, with each step in the journey, you will be creating with their child a unique path of learning and growth. You can expect some twists and turns, maybe even a few side trips, but you can assure parents that your focus will remain on building knowledge and skills, nurturing good people, and encouraging their best work.

The beginning of school is an exciting time, but it is also crucial to setting the stage for a successful year. Sharing key messages of reassurance, expectations, and commitment can help us get off to a great start.

July 24, 2024

Strategies to Help Overinvolved Parents Step Back

For the parents and guardians who see their roles as constant monitors, managers, and even intervenors in the lives of their children, the growth in access to technology, social media, and instant communication has accelerated a troubling trend. Terms like “helicopter parenting” and “snowplow parenting” have been used to describe their ultra-high levels of involvement. Now, some parents and guardians are essentially accompanying their child virtually throughout the school day.

Increasingly, teachers are reporting experiences where parents text their child frequently, even hourly, to check on their progress, performance, and mental state. Others describe instances where parents monitor classroom conversations in real time by having their children maintain an open microphone app on their laptop, tablet, or phone. Still others note parents quickly intervening to mediate classroom conflicts and confusion on behalf of their child rather than waiting for or allowing the student to solve challenges on their own. The list could go on.

Obviously, these parent and guardian behaviors are not encouraging the growth of key learning and life management skills their children need to develop. While parents may feel as though they are protecting, they are also depriving their children of experiences and lessons that will become more and more important as they approach adulthood. Additionally, they are adding to the distractions, interruptions, anxiety, and stress students experience throughout the school day.

However, we need to remember that, for the most part, these parents are well-intentioned. They want their children to be successful, after all, and they are investing considerable effort in trying to help their children navigate life. They also may have become accustomed to immediate access to their child during the pandemic and now have difficulty adjusting to the separation their child’s life at school presents.

While some parents embrace the integrated role they are playing in their child’s life and may resist stepping back, others may not even be aware of the potential problems their behavior can create for their child. Consequently, we need to be thoughtful and sensitive in our approach to nudge and coach our students’ parents and guardians.

It is worth our time and effort to help parents understand the potential impact and consequences of their behavior. They may need knowledge, encouragement, and strategies to help them adjust their behavior and allow their child space to experience learning with more independence.

We can start by sharing with parents and guardians the key developmental skills children and adolescents need to develop as they grow. Skills such as problem solving, conflict management, priority setting, time management, planning, and independence require that young people are allowed and supported to experience and learn on their own.

We might share with our students’ guardians the value of learning from mistakes and overcoming missteps. While coaching can be helpful, young people also need to be given opportunities to experience and work through life challenges. Our experience and insights can help parents evaluate the issues their children face and sort those that are normal and will pass from those that will need more attention and support.

We also might share with parents the emotional and psychological consequences of constant communication to and from their children involving routine information. Texts and other communication during times when students should be focused on learning create distractions that undermine learning efforts. Inquiries regarding progress and performance from class to class interrupt the flow of the day and increase levels of stress, and expectations for responses and assessments of how their child’s day is going can elevate the amount of anxiety students experience.

While asking parents to have no communication with their child during the school day may not be realistic, we might suggest a midday check-in. We can advise them to resist texts and other communication while students are in class and focused on learning. If parents have non-urgent information to communicate, they might remove the expectation that their child respond immediately.

We also can reinforce channels and timely schedules for us to communicate information parents may need and want to know so they do not have to rely solely on their child’s interpretation of expectations and events. Meanwhile, we can reaffirm the processes and opportunities available to parents to reach out to us with comments, questions, and concerns.

Obviously, school and school district policies and guidance need to play a role in the approach and strategies we choose. We may not be able to control the behavior of those parents who become overinvolved in the learning and life of their child. However, we can help them to understand the importance of and consequences associated with the parenting behaviors they choose.

April 11, 2024

The Master Teacher Blog

Five Beginning-of-School Messages Families Want to Hear from Their Child’s Teacher

Strategies to Help Overinvolved Parents Step Back

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