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In Your Corner, Thinking Frames
Six Powerful Secrets to Thriving in Rough Times
We cannot control whether the times we face are rough or smooth. However, we can always choose how we will respond. We can give in to the challenges and problems we face, or we can choose to focus our efforts on our goals and priorities and not allow what is happening around us to drag us down. Of course, the latter choice is easier to imagine than practice.
Nevertheless, there are powerful strategies we can employ to help us rise above the circumstances we face and press through the challenges that confront us. Here are six secrets we can employ to maintain our health and sanity and continue to serve our students well.
Don’t expect to be perfect; being human is enough. Many of us aspire to be perfect. We don’t like to make mistakes. We don’t want to be embarrassed. However, setting an expectation that we be perfect also has significant downsides. Taking risks may lead to experiences that are less than flawless. Learning and trying new skills can mean missteps. At the same time, people who expect to be perfect are often reluctant to seek and accept the help of others. In the extreme, perfectionists can become isolated and without a strong support system. Accepting that we are human, we will make mistakes, and sometimes will need the help of others can make us more approachable. People are more willing to step up and lend a hand if we do not present ourselves as perfect. We can still be committed to excellence, strive to provide a high level of service, and model the best practices of our profession. Perfection can be a trap. We can be human and still pursue excellence.
Care for yourself; build the energy to care for others. In times of crisis and pressure we may find ourselves prioritizing care for others over caring for ourselves. This is a natural inclination for people who dedicate themselves to serving others. However, there is a fundamental truth worth heeding: If we want to have the energy, strength, and stamina to care for others, we need to care for ourselves. The airline take-off announcement we hear every time we fly applies: Put on your facemask before assisting others. Unless we take care of ourselves, we risk not being able to provide the care and support our students and colleagues need from us. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish. In fact, it can be the crucial success factor in our caring for others.
Don’t presume to know every answer; invite students to join the search. As students we may have assumed that our teachers had all the answers. They may have even implied that they did. As a result, we may try to hold ourselves to the same impossible standard. The fact is that there is no way to know everything in any discipline, and certainly not in the wider information universe. Even if we have command of everything our students need and want to know, there are good reasons not to behave as though we do. Some of the richest learning we can offer to our students will be found in the search for answers, especially if we are a partner in the search. When we enlist students in the search for answers, we can share in the pursuit, we can offer students a model for searching and learning, and we can share in the delight of finding answers to important questions. On the other hand, if we readily provide answers to every student question, we deprive them of the experience and risk their missing the learning value and skills gained through the hunt.
Give your attention freely; don’t force students to demand it. Even though it is free, attention is a precious resource. Where we choose to direct our attention conveys a message. It indicates who and what we deem to be important and worthy. When attention is withdrawn, the impact can be profound. Of course, when we choose to withhold attention from students, many will demand it. The demand may be in the form of misbehavior, acting out, or withdrawing to the point where we are forced to intervene. The more attention we can give, the more value and respect students feel. Of course, there are times when we may choose to limit the attention we give to certain students, but even those occasions need to be temporary. Our attention is precious, but it does not have to be rationed.
Celebrate small victories; build momentum for greater triumphs. During difficult times, victories may seem exceptionally small and rare. Yet, our commitment to celebrate progress, smart strategies, and even thoughtful attempts can build momentum for future success. But, our focus needs to remain on what can be accomplished, how what is happening now prepares for what can come later, and how the skills and habits developed will lead to greater accomplishments. Meaningless recognition and unfocused applause can undermine effort and commitment but seeing and celebrating small victories on the road to success can build the momentum that will lead to future triumph.
Expect genius; it will emerge. It is a fact of life that we tend to see and find what we expect and look for. If we expect disappointment, we are often disappointed. If we expect respect, we tend to see more of it. If we believe and look for genius in the thinking and learning of our students, we are more likely to see it. Equally important, when we notice, call out, and reinforce creative ideas, insightful thinking, and curious questions, we are likely to see more of that behavior. Every child has a gift. If we are committed to uncovering and nurturing their gifts and talents, we will see more genius – guaranteed!
There may be times when we do not feel powerful or confident. Yet, we always have options. How we choose to respond and the actions we take as a result can spell the difference between feeling “dragged under,” or swimming onward.
In Your Corner, Thinking Frames
Four Habits Can Build Success and Satisfaction
Even in stable, relatively predictable years, the winter months can be challenging to our mood and outlook. Reaching the goals that we set at the beginning of the year may still feel a long way off. Frustrations can be more difficult to ignore or shake off. Unanticipated challenges and setbacks can have a greater impact on our confidence than they have in the past. In short, we can find ourselves in a funk.
We can choose to “wait it out,” hope that our mood lightens, and life improves on its own, or we can change our focus, improve our outlook, and choose a better path. Importantly, we do not have to change our entire lives to make a difference. One of the most effective ways to make such a change is to adopt a few key behaviors that, over time, become habits. Here are four impactful behaviors that can become habits and shape our path to success and satisfaction, even now.
We can start by focusing on our strengths. Research has repeatedly shown that when we pay attention to, build on, and rely on our strengths we are more successful than over-emphasizing and focusing on fixing faults or shortcomings we may have. When we focus on our strengths we gain confidence, experience more success, and are generally happier. Of course, there may be skills for us to strengthen, areas of our practice to shore up, and new practices to adopt. However, when we approach these challenges from the perspective of our strengths, we are almost always more successful. For example, using our relationship building skills to enlist the experience and talents of a team will usually be more successful than trying to solve a problem by ourselves, especially if we don’t do well working alone.
We can spend our attention and energy on what we can control. It’s a fact that much of what we face in life is beyond our control. Other people may make decisions that have an impact on us. Circumstances within which we find ourselves may have origins in areas well beyond our span of control. A major source of stress in life comes from trying to manage and manipulate items and events over which we have no power. On the other hand, when we focus on those things we can control, we can achieve greater success and derive greater satisfaction. Interestingly, when we focus on what we can control, we often find that the elements and areas of life beyond our control consume less of our energy and we can often find ways to cope and respond that lessen their impact. For example, we might prefer to avoid a mandated professional learning activity, but we can choose to find value in and learn from the experience rather than spend our time resenting having to be there.
We can pay attention to and appreciate what is good. Even when we live through a bad experience, there still may be elements that are good and worth appreciating. One of the truths of life is that we tend to find what we look for. If we pay attention to everything that is wrong, we can miss many important things that are right and worth celebrating. On the other hand, if we commit to look for what is good and worthy of appreciation, we tend to find those things, too. Remarkably, an attitude of appreciation can be contagious. As we find and note good elements and aspects of life, others notice them too. Consequently, we have more positive topics and experiences to share about and more to appreciate.
We can also choose to lift others up. This behavior may seem counterintuitive. Yet, the act of doing something good for others is a great way to feel good about ourselves. When we notice and compliment good work, share the work of others as examples to emulate, and adopt good practices we learn from others, we feel better and we do better. This habit is not only effective among adults. When we compliment students to their parents, especially when students are within hearing distance, the benefits can be significant. Parents feel good about their children. Students love to “overhear” good things about them and their work. We can also benefit from the learning confidence and effort students will give in response.
Changing the emotional path on which we find ourselves does not mean having to change everything. In fact, trying to change everything can be counterproductive. Rather, focusing on a few key shifts that become habits can make a lasting difference in the success we experience and the satisfaction we feel from it.
Communication, In Your Corner
In Your Corner, Thinking Frames
In Your Corner, Student Learning
Climate and Culture, In Your Corner
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