February 13, 2025

Get Beyond Whining and Complaining: Teach Students to Self-Advocate

Many of our student have parents, guardians, or other caregivers who are quick to step in and advocate for them; for those students, while that resource is available now, it will not always be there. It is also true that many students do not have someone who is able or willing to stand up for them. Regardless, if students do not learn to advocate for themselves, they risk not knowing how and when to speak up for themselves when they need to. The fact is that all students do better when they learn and practice the skill of self-advocacy.

To be clear, self-advocacy is more than a person whining and complaining to get what they want. Advocacy is goal- and outcome-driven. Self-advocacy requires self-awareness and confidence. Advocacy is driven by informing those with the power to act in a situation and asking for consideration or accommodation.

In practice, self-advocacy builds agency and a sense of empowerment, fosters independence, and grows autonomy. It can be a powerful source of motivation when self-advocacy leads to a pattern of success. However, for many people, let alone our young students, self-advocacy is not easy. It requires courage, can be stressful, and is not always welcomed. Of course, self-advocacy does not always result in achieving the desired outcome.

Self-advocacy is a skill that can be taught and learned. We can create conditions that encourage students to develop and practice this skill, and we can coach students to develop adjacent skills that help them to be more effective advocates across the board. When appropriate, we should be receptive when students practice their self-advocacy skills with us. Here are ten examples of actions we can take and activities we can design to help students to develop this crucial skill:

Nurture possibility thinking. We can help students to shift their negative thinking and language in the direction of options and possibilities. In many situations, the worst-case scenario would occur without self-advocacy and thus would be the same regardless, so when students reframe their negative outlook as an opportunity to consider and pursue what could be, they run little risk of worsening the situation.
Allow students to own and wrestle with problems. We need to avoid stepping in with a solution or shutting down the what-if dialogue. Rather, we can focus on their goals and nudge for their solutions.
Normalize asking for help. Students often assume that asking for help is a sign of weakness or lack of intelligence. We can help students see why asking for help is a sign of strength and expression of confidence, not evidence of weakness.
Ask open-ended questions that give students room to think and decide. When students come to us with a circumstance that calls for self-advocacy, we can present questions that help students to think through the situation, explore options, and identify potential solutions without taking over and providing solutions prematurely.
Coach problem-solving and decision-making skills. Self-advocacy is most effective when students have analyzed the situation, identified potential solutions, and can present least one preferred outcome.
Explicitly teach advocacy language. Self-advocacy is a communication challenge. Students often need the words to say, ways to articulate their needs, guidance on how to present questions, and methods to ask for action in a manner that is respectful and effective.
Consider role-playing self-advocacy scenarios. Low stakes opportunities to practice a new skill can be a powerful growth accelerator. Debriefing following role-plays can offer excellent opportunities to explore options and brainstorm additional approaches.
Reinforce self-advocacy behaviors when students demonstrate them. Students may not always realize that they are advocating. Attempts to advocate present teachable moments that can lead to important learning.
Model self-advocacy in interactions with students and others. Observing a skilled self-advocate can provide important examples, insights, and strategies for students to adopt and adapt.
Encourage students to advocate for important causes. The experience of advocating for issues that involve the needs and interests of others can provide important learning experiences that give students more confidence and competence when advocating for themselves.

In parallel with our efforts to teach and nurture self-advocacy skills in our students, we might encourage and coach their parents, guardians, and/or caretakers to join our efforts, as many of the actions on this list are things they can also do. Together, we can play a key role in helping students become skilled, experienced self-advocates by allowing them to practice and learn, even when not everything turns out as they might desire.